


Sin Squad™

by arpeggioschuyler



Category: Hamilton- Miranda
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Multi, Social Media, Texting, Theres kind of a plot, but like, everyones a sinner, laf doesn't know what kinkshaming is, lowkey everyone is problematic, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arpeggioschuyler/pseuds/arpeggioschuyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton has an incredible idea to start a groupchat for his friends.</p><p>Sinning, meming, and kinkshaming ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the beginning of the sinning

**Author's Note:**

> i jumped on the bandwagon but i decided to make it different and hav not popular ships in here so,,,,,,, yeah
> 
> ships aren't the focus tho. sinning is the focus

Alexander Hamilton created this group.  
Alexander Hamilton added John Laurens; Elizabeth Schuyler; Angelica Schuyler; Margarita Schuyler; Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette; Hercules Mulligan.  
Alexander Hamilton named the group ‘the hamilsquad’

Angelica Schuyler: oh no

Alexander Hamilton: oh yes

Alexander Hamilton: r u ready for the group chat of all group chats,,,,,, the hamilsquad,,,, LETS GO

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: GO GO GO JOSEPH YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: HANG ON THERE JOSEPH YOU’LL MAKE IT SOMEDAY

Hercules Mulligan: will laf ever stop being musical theatre trash??

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: ,,,,, how u say,,,,, no.

Angelica Schuyler: the real question is how did laf manage to get his full name on here wtf this is facebook ok you cant even be in a relationship with more than one person??

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: im tight w the creator’s daughter & she owed me a favour soooo

John Laurens: when will laf ever stop flaunting his connections

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: um. never

Margarita Schuyler: HEY FUCKERS THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED

Margarita Schuyler: ew why the Fuck am i named Margarita in this chat

Margarita Schuyler: no thanks

Margarita Schuyler changed their nickname to (p)egg(y).

(p)egg(y): much better

Alexander Hamilton: wait oh my god

Alexander Hamilton changed his nickname to ham.

ham: EGGS AND HAM

(p)egg(y): YAAAAS SQUAD

Angelica Schuyler: um

Angelica Schuyler: why does that ‘YAAAAS’ only hav one S

Angelica Schuyler: this is Discrimination

(p)egg(y): smh let me live my life what kinda connection do u hav to the letter S anyways

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: im kinkshaming

John Laurens: lafayette

John Laurens: my love

John Laurens: that's not what kinkshaming means

Elizabeth Schuyler: tag urself im john calling laf ‘my love’

Hercules Mulligan: im eliza popping up out of nowhere for the tag urself meme

ham: im angelica’s kink for the letter s

John Laurens: yeah of course you'd want to be angelica’s kink

ham: WHAT THE FUCK

Angelica Schuyler: YES JOHN

Elizabeth Schuyler: that was so shady im wheezing

Hercules Mulligan: and yet,, ham isn't denying anything,,

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: fuck

(p)egg(y): wow can't we all be nice to each other

Angelica Schuyler: shut the fuck up u lil punk

(p)egg(y): ok

Elizabeth Schuyler: wow,,, i cannot believe that my sister is a Cyberbully

ham: #StopCyberbullying2k16

John Laurens: @ ham ur only saying that to cover ur own ass smh

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: my wonderful boyfriend im so proud ur so shady

John Laurens: ily

Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette: ily more

Hercules Mulligan: anyways now that y’all are done being gay can we get everyone 2 hav nicknames now

ham changed Elizabeth Schuyler’s nickname to ethereal being.

ham changed Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette’s nickname to hon hon baguette.

hon hon baguette: i am Offended

hon hon baguette changed Hercules Mulligan’s nickname to hetero mulligan.

hetero mulligan: that's me the token straight

hon hon baguette changed John Laurens’ nickname to starry sky.

starry sky: why starry sky??

hon hon baguette: because you have skin stars

starry sky: skin stars??

starry sky: OMG FRECKLES

starry sky: THATS SO ADORABLE THANK U MY LOVE I LOVE YOU

hon hon baguette: i love you too my little van gogh painting

starry sky: ok that's too much

ham: stop being so Queer gosh guys

ethereal being changed Angelica Schuyler’s nickname to defender of S.

defender of S: that doesn't make any sense im deleting

defender of S changed her nickname to angelic being.

angelic being: there we go

(p)egg(y): we don't match :-(

angelic being: who says we want u to match

angelic being: ur already matched up with fuccin clumpy mascara over there so

starry sky: CLUMPY MAS CA RA

hetero mulligan: IM YELLING

hon hon baguette: no ur not?? im right next to you??

hetero mulligan: SHUT UP

ethereal being changed ham’s nickname to clumpy mascara

clumpy mascara: what i have i done to deserve this

angelic being: well

(p)egg(y): here we go folks

angelic being: you dated eliza for TWO YEARS to the point where she was planning her fucking WEDDING in her DIARY and then cheated on her with some whore and then published a TWENTY SEVEN PART NEWSPAPER SERIES

clumpy mascara: ,,,,,, anyways

starry sky: HOLD THE FUCK UP THREE THINGS

starry sky: ONE: ANGELICA OUT OF ALL THE PPL IN THIS CHAT I THOUGHT YOU’D BE BETTER THAN THIS?? SMH

starry sky: YOU CALLED THIS GIRL A WHORE WHEN MOST LIKELY SHE DIDNT EVEN HAVE A CHOICE IM ALMOST CERTAIN SHE WAS FORCED INTO DOING THIS BY HER ABUSIVE H U S B A N D

starry sky: DONT FUCKING SLUTSHAME

hetero mulligan: savage

(p)egg(y): john be like “no slutshaming in my lobby”

starry sky: peggy n o

(p)egg(y): peggy y e s u cant control me binch

angelic being: ok im so sorry that was real gross @ maria reynolds wherever u are im real sorry

starry sky: good ok

starry sky: two more things

starry sky: one is can we discuss how peggy used the word ‘folks’

(p)egg(y): i did Not

hetero mulligan sent a picture.

(p)egg(y): this is Blasphemy

starry sky: and finally can we discuss how apparently my datemate is chilling with hercules rn??? like @ laf what the fuck im literally one room over come kiss me

hon hon baguette: ok i will do that mon amour i love u

hon hon baguette: also u kno that there's no risk of me cheating on u with herc he's such a hetero

hetero mulligan: haha yeah that's me #hetero

hon hon baguette: heading over to your room right now john

starry sky: bye friends im gonna go make out with my gorgeous partner

angelic being: can u stop being so adorable ur the only non single ppl in this gc and im jealous

(p)egg(y): ????

angelic being: what

(p)egg(y): what abt eliza??

angelic being: WHAT

clumpy mascara: WHAT

hetero mulligan: WHAT

(p)egg(y): oh no

ethereal being: @ peggy what the f u c k

clumpy mascara: ELIZA WHO ARE YOU DATING

angelic being: like u hav any right to know

angelic being: anyways ELIZA WHO ARE YOU DATING

ethereal being: im not saying

ethereal being: we’re keeping it lowkey & if i tell u guys ur gonna interrogate him

clumpy mascara: SO ITS A HIM

clumpy mascara: AHA

(p)egg(y): eliza ur such a hetero

ethereal being: just because this relationship and my past relationship were both with guys doesn't mean im any less biromantic

(p)egg(y): that's True

angelic being: hercules remains as the True Heterosexual™

hetero mulligan: that's true haha

clumpy mascara: anyways when u are ready to tell us who u are dating,,,, we are adding him to The Gay Group™

(p)egg(y) named the chat The Gay Group

(p)egg(y): that's better than ‘the hamilsquad’ @ alex wtf,, also what abt hetero

hetero mulligan: that's me

clumpy mascara: stop Judging me peggy you know my name not my story

angelic being: alex: the tru 2007 myscene emo kid

clumpy mascara: fukc

ethereal being: anyways i was gonna name the chat “Sin Squad™” but whatever

(p)egg(y) named the chat Sin Squad™

(p)egg(y): beautiful

angelic being: just like me

(p)egg(y): stfu

ethereal being: anyways @ angelica u promised sisterly bonding time today??

angelic being: ah yes im gonna paint ur nails

(p)egg(y): can it be sibling bonding time

ethereal being: yes ofc

clumpy mascara: can i join

angelic being: smh i guess it can be siblings + overcooked potato bonding time

clumpy mascara: yay

(p)egg(y): alex doesn't even mind being called an overcooked potato,,, same

angelic being: @ ham what are u waiting for get ur ass over here i hav a real nice emerald green that would look great on you

clumpy mascara: tru tru see u soon

 

 

 

 

 


	2. that's not how you french

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the hell alex

**Sin Squad** ™

clumpy mascara: guys ive had a revelation

(p)egg(y): ????

starry sky: oh no

clumpy mascara: the macaroni fucker is a vampire

angelic being: alex. no.

clumpy mascara: i swear to god he's a vampire

clumpy mascara: his skin is always sparkly

clumpy mascara: he never looks in the mirror or takes selfies when there's other people around

clumpy mascara: all the pictures on his ig and twitter are laf with their hair down

clumpy mascara: he flat out refuses to eat garlic

clumpy mascara: he's never been in a church cause he's a fuccin sinner and ALSO A VAMPIRE

clumpy mascara: AND HIS FUCKING PURPLE VELVET SUIT

clumpy mascara: HE WEARS THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY BECAUSE HES HAD IT FOR CENTURIES

clumpy mascara: THATS WHY ITS SO GROSS CAUSE HIS FASHION SENSE HASNT CHANGED SINCE CENTURIES AGO

hon hon baguette: waY WAY BACK MANY CENTURIES AGOOOO

clumpy mascara: NOT NOW LAF

clumpy mascara: HE NEVER GOES OUTSIDE

clumpy mascara: THE REASON HIS SHITTY MAC AND CHEESE IS SO BAD IS BECAUSE HE CANT ACTUALLY TASTE IT

clumpy mascara: AND MADDY IS ALWAYS AT HIS SIDE BECAUSE TJ ACTUALLY FEEDS OFF MADDY

angelic being: alexander he isn't a vampire

clumpy mascara: OH YEAH HOW DO YOU KNOW

angelic being: i went tanning with him last summer

clumpy mascara: ANGELICA WTF YOU WENT TANNING WITH THE ZODIAC KILLER ?????

(p)egg(y): tj is ted cruz alright

ethereal being: alex this a completely baseless accusation

hon hon baguette: thomas is not a vampire

clumpy mascara: OH REALLY

clumpy mascara: LETS FUCKING SEE

clumpy mascara added Thomas Jefferson to Sin Squad™

clumpy mascara: hey thommy, tj, jeffyboy

Thomas Jefferson: what the fuck do you want hamilton

Thomas Jefferson: also why is your name clumpy mascara

Thomas Jefferson: why is this named Sin Squad™

clumpy mascara: shhhhhh

clumpy mascara: do you like garlic?

Thomas Jefferson: … no?

clumpy mascara: do you attempt to make your skin sparkly?

Thomas Jefferson: no?? it sparkles au naturale

clumpy mascara: that's not how you french

clumpy mascara: why don't you take selfies with other people?

Thomas Jefferson: it fucks with my vibe

clumpy mascara: SEE

clumpy mascara: TOLD YOU SO

angelic being: alexander no

hon hon baguette: this is,,, how u say,,,,

hon hon baguette: UN-FUCKING-NECESSARY

ethereal being: tag urself im “that's not how you french”

starry sky: im “UN-FUCKING-NECESSARY”

hetero mulligan: im “au naturale”

Thomas Jefferson: anyways what just happened

angelic being: alex is convinced ur a vampire

Thomas Jefferson: fucking nerd

Thomas Jefferson: anyways now that im here im staying

clumpy mascara: no ur fuccin not

clumpy mascara removed Thomas Jefferson from Sin Squad™

angelic being: what a tragedy

hon hon baguette: ALEXANDRE THATS SO RUDE

hon hon baguette added Thomas Jefferson to Sin Squad™

Thomas Jefferson: bonjour y’all

hon hon baguette: fuck nevermind

hon hon baguette removed Thomas Jefferson from Sin Squad™

ethereal being: ok anyways out of the Kindness of our Hearts we are letting him be a part of the Sin Squad™

(p)egg(y): that's not kind that's just suffering

ethereal being: shh

ethereal being added Thomas Jefferson to Sin Squad™

ethereal being: Welcome To The Sin Squad™

clumpy mascara: enjoy your stay binch have fun suffering

Thomas Jefferson: … honestly ur nickname is clumpy mascara i feel like ur the one suffering

clumpy mascara: angelica

angelic being changed Thomas Jefferson’s nickname to battery-less flashlight

battery-less flashlight: um excuse you

battery-less flashlight changed his name to Thomas JefferSIN

clumpy mascara: boy

clumpy mascara: who the fuck do you think you are

clumpy mascara: you're not fucking relevant you don't deserve the title of sin

clumpy mascara: salty little fucker

clumpy mascara changed Thomas JefferSIN’s name to undercooked french fry

undercooked french fry: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

(p)egg(y): that meme is so old let it Die

angelic being: peggy you legit used the breadsticks meme the other day you have no right to talk

ethereal being: idk if i should be praising my sister for being a roast goddess or defending my smol sibling from my roast goddess sister

(p)egg(y): eliza wtf defend me i am smol and innocent

undercooked french fry: don't lie,, @ my lit party last week u fuccin chugged a whole bottle of vodka like,,, bitch whaaaaaat

ethereal being: WHAT

(p)egg(y): oh no

angelic being: WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF PEGGY

(p)egg(y): schuyler sibs gc Please

 

**The Schuyler Sibs**

pink: so?

blue: im rly looking forward to hearing this pegs

yellow: ok so. i found an empty bottle of vodka that everyone had at hercules’ like three weeks ago

yellow: and i knew u guys weren't gonna be at tj’s party and i knew that w/o u guys ppl were gonna think that im some lame teenager

yellow: so i filled the bottle with water and i hid it in the back of tj’s fridge and then after like two hours at the party i got dared to drink an entire bottle of my choosing

yellow: so i took the vodka bottle filled with water and i fuccin chugged and everyone was drunk so they didn't question it and i am now a God™

yellow: pls don't judge me

pink: ,,,, that's fucking genius

blue: my smart lil baby

blue: can i tell ham over private message cause he's like. blackmailing me because he wants to know

yellow: sure

pink: eliza wtf what does he have to expose you for

blue: hopefully you will Never know

pink: ELIZA

green: Wait, what did I miss? Peggy, why?

yellow: fuck wrong chat

blue: hey philly j,,, you can just ignore this

green: ??? Okay.

pink: GOD BLESS LIL PHILLY J SCHUYLER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had this written like last week wtf

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on Twitter @pegyschuyler where i scream abt hamilton a lot


End file.
